Practical Steps to Get Rid of Self-Doubt and Become More Confident

No one likes the feeling of self-doubt, that tiny voice in their head telling them, “What if it was all in vain? What if you can’t do it?” If we carry it with us everywhere we go, we lose the brave and decisive part of ourselves. Learning how to overcome self-doubt and become more assertive requires active practice in letting go of uncertainty and building self-awareness.

Challenging Negative Thoughts

One of the most popular and effective strategies against self-doubt, catching the negative thoughts before they do more damage, is easy to practice. Those who follow the “What is Liven” trail often find this CBT activity helpful once the app teaches them how to do it.

Step 1. Notice the thought. When you’re feeling nervous or start questioning yourself, pause and do a mental overview. What ideas rushed through your head? Sometimes, it takes a few tries to unearth the right one.

Step 2. Write it down. If you aren’t in a rush, record this thought on paper. Even if you’re running somewhere, add it to your notes on the smartphone and return when you’ve got time.

Step 3. Look for evidence. Many negative thoughts are essentially what-ifs that lose their power when examined openly. What facts support this suggestion? For instance, if you were thinking something like “I will never do this task well, I’m not competent,” reflect on whether that is really true.

Step 4. Reframe the thought. Instead of automatically believing the claim, try to restate it in a more balanced way. So if we’re reframing the idea above, it could look like this: “Although it’s a bit difficult, I did similar stuff before, and I’m sure I’ll do fine.”

Practice Develops Competence

Nothing builds confidence more than practicing and building up your skills. Think about the area you want to improve. Is it driving, math, or communication? Start learning and doing it  — it gives you self-assurance. There’s a sneaky period of being a newbie when some of us might drop trying because we’re not immediately pros at what we’re doing; remember about it and persevere. No one gets ideal results on the first try!

Find Supportive People Only

Don’t underestimate the influence others have on you. People can change how you see the world and yourself; overly negative or critical individuals send you back to where you started. Why keep the unsupportive ones around? Limit contact with them if possible, and prioritize relationships with those who encourage and support your growth. Plus, when you see others treating doubt as just a small part of life, you develop more trust in this attitude. Oh, and those social media celebrities who never doubt themselves, being unrealistically perfect? Click that mental “unsubscribe” button.

Set Realistic Goals

A great deal of self-doubt stems from the high goals we have set. For example, if you’ve just graduated from a uni and immediately apply to a position you are clearly underqualified for, your self-doubt might spiral out of control. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t strive for having better things in life — only that you allow yourself to reach them without putting yourself through mental and physical exhaustion.

Beat Self-Doubt With Self-Compassion

Self-compassion can transform nagging self-criticism into something genuinely kind. The more you beat yourself up over an issue, the more resources you pour into harming yourself. Instead, try these two exercises:

The Friend Test
When you catch yourself in harsh self-talk, pause and ask: If my close friend said this about themselves, what would I say to them? Chances are, you won’t be as harsh. Write these words, imagining you’re telling them to a friend.

Mirror Exercise
Every day, stand in front of a mirror for a few minutes. If you feel uncomfortable doing so, try for at least thirty seconds. Just say one or two gentle self-compassionate affirmations. For instance, consider statements like “I am worthy of love and patience” or “I am always learning and growing.” The idea is to find a genuine message that you can genuinely express.

Measure Progress in Several Ways

We associate success and progress with a hundred-day streak or something very obvious. Real growth is small; we rarely see a tree grow out of the earth and reach the sky in a day, but somehow expect this from ourselves. Measure it differently. For example:

• How long does it take you to do the same activity compared to a month ago
• The cumulative effect of your work (such as the number of pages or tasks done)
• How you have changed emotionally.

Make the Clothes Feel Safe and Empowering

Clothes are like soft shields we put on. Have you noticed that wearing something tight or unflattering makes you more on edge? It’s not about the way you look; it’s about how you feel in certain things. Pick items that correspond to the way you want to feel, and look for more than just aesthetics.

Tiny Exposure Practices

Exposure helps us face our fears and those worries that cause self-doubt, becoming less influenced by them over time. Self-doubt often depends on many steps or variables, which makes our anxiety feel too strong to overcome. Instead of avoiding situations that trigger self-doubt, break them down into micro-exposures. If you’re worried about meeting new people at an event, start early by introducing yourself to other guests (for example, via social media or in person). If you’re hesitant to try a new sport, learn a few basics.

Conclusion

We certainly don’t know all the things that can go wrong — that’s what our self-doubt says, right? But our self-doubt also doesn’t know all the wonders that we are capable of. That’s why it’s worth trying it, to practice these strategies and reach beyond the threshold of comfort. Be brave. You may very well surprise yourself!