Confessions of a Cruise Ship Renegade: The Untold Stories Behind the Buffet
On the surface, cruise ships are floating havens of perfection, a smorgasbord of elegant sophistication and luxury experiences. But take a peek under the hood and you’ll find that your cruise paradise is something very different, a world of constant surprises, occasional chaos, and endless amusing anecdotes.
I’ve worked on cruises around the world and I know a thing or two about the ins and outs of cruise life. You name it, I’ve seen it, from the good and the bad to the downright hilarious. So before embarking on an Alaskan cruise from Vancouver, take a look below as I fill you in on some of the untold stories from behind the buffet that might just change the way you look at your next adventure on the ocean waves!
The Buffet is a Battlefield
The buffet isn’t just a place to grab a bite to eat. It often feels like a battleground, especially at the most popular eating times. Competition is fierce between diners for the best tables and the tastiest morsels of food, and I’ve seen tourists come to actual blows over who gets the last piece of prime rib! Timing is everything, and you can always tell the cruise veterans by when they arrive, and how they approach this perilous mission. It is always fascinating to watch, although we do have to be ready for anything!
The Secret Menus
If it is your first time on a cruise, you might not know that the food on display at the buffet or listed on the menu is just the tip of the iceberg. Chefs and staff love to get a little creative behind the scenes, and there are often ‘secret’ dishes that never make it onto the menu. This is why it is a great idea to befriend your waiters and entertainers - if you are lucky they’ll let you in on the secret and get you a taste of what else is on offer, from extra spicy curries to elaborate desserts.
The Midnight Snackers’ Club
Plenty of passengers assume the buffet is only open for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but it’s actually a 24-hour service, with food available round the clock. This means that you get some pretty hilarious encounters, from passengers who’ve enjoyed one too many cocktails in need of a midnight snack to pajama-clad guests who’ve woken up peckish and want to pack one extra meal before bed. We’ve even had a few sleepwalkers, believe it or not!
The Buffet Fashion Show
Of course, dining on a cruise is more than just a chance to eat. It is a place where passengers like to strut their stuff and show off their style, meaning that as waiters, we’ve seen it all. You get everything from the traditional black-tie passengers who love to dress up for dinner to the uber-casual guests who come straight from the pool in their swimming costumes and flip-flops. My favorites are the passengers who are into high fashion and who wander in dressed more for the runway than a buffet dinner!
Finally, it is worth mentioning that behind the scenes at the buffet are the unsung heroes who make a cruise run smoothly and perfectly. The kitchen staff, chefs, and waiters work tirelessly to create this wonderful experience, and have to deal with the sometimes wonderful, sometimes stressful situations that occur with a constant smile. Understanding this and knowing a few of the unwritten rules is a great way to enhance your cruise experience, as your knowledge of the secrets of the buffet brings you into the inner circle, with all the perks that come with it! So take a moment to appreciate the untold stories of the cruise buffet, and the people who make it all happen.
